to color from black and white
by unreal zebra
Summary: Austin Moon lives in a world of nothing but black and white and blurry gray. Ally Dawson lives in world of nothing but bright colors. He's more than content living in his colorless world, but she's determined to make him see the beauty of colors. AU one-shot Inspired by that one lyric in that one song by that one band.


**all I'm saying is that this is the most intense thing I've written.**

 **Disclaimer: I've been dreaming of owning Austin and Ally for years, but sadly that dream hasn't come true yet. And I also don't own Can't Say I'm in Love or R5...(if I did, that'd be incredibly awkward...)**

* * *

Austin Moon was _done_.

Done with school. Done with the sick human he called 'Dad'. Done with life. Done with himself.

He was done.

Ally Dawson, on the other hand, was just getting started.

She _bounced_ over to his table where he was sitting alone, staring blankly at his sandwich, his head ducked and covered by his hood. She plopped onto the bench, gaining his attention.

"What's your favorite color?" she asks, not bothering with any greeting. Her voice is so chirpy and cheerful, it hurts Austin's ears.

He blinks at her. "Uh what?"

"Your favorite color. What is it?" she asks again, leaning forward, resting her chin on her hands, eager for is response.

"Um, I don't have one," he answers slowly.

Ally looks appalled by his response and leans back, her arms flailing. "You don't have a favorite color?! But _how_? _Everyone_ has a favorite color!"

Austin rolls his eyes. "Well, I'm not everyone, I guess," he replies, annoyed.

"But you _have_ to have a favorite color! It's like _inhumane_ not to."

"I said-"

"Oh! I bet you want me to guess it! Is that it?"

"What? No. I-"

She ignores him, cutting him off. "Is it red?"

"No. Its not-"

"Green? Oh wait. I bet its blue."

"Its not either of-"

"Orange? Yellow? Heliotrope?"

"There's a color called _heliotrope_?"

"Is it pink?"

"No! Its not pink! I don't-"

"Oh, don't be so embarrassed! I have a guy friend who _loves_ pink."

Austin sighs, rubbing his forehead tiredly. "Look girl-"

"Ally."

"Fine, _Ally._ I don't have a favorite color, okay? I''m perfectly fine living in my world of black and white, so please just go bother someone else about colors."

"How do you _not_ have a favorite color?" she mutters more to herself than him. She looks back up at him, her bright grin back on her face. "Well then guy-"

"Austin," he mutters.

"Well then _Austin_ , I'm gonna help you find your colors," Ally exclaims.

Austin groans. "I don't want to find any colors! Why can't you just leave me alone?!"

"Nobody deserves to live in a colorless world."

"Maybe _I_ like living in a colorless world."

Ally laughs. "Ha ha. That's a good one. Everyone likes color. You just needa dig a little deeper."

Dig a little deeper into _what_? This girl was insane.

"So," she says. "In order for this to work, we have to get to know each other."

"Please, for the love of God, leave me alone. _Please_ ," he begs, letting his head fall onto the lunch table.

Ally ignores him again. "I'll go first. I was born in Miami, but I went to Africa with my mom when I was 11 because she had this research expedition thingy. We decided to move back this year, since I wanted to finish my senior year in a civilized environment. And my dad owns this music store - Sonic Boom? You've probably heard of it. Its in the mall, right-"

"You're not going to give up, are you?" Austin asks, raising his head a little to look at the brunette.

"Nope!"

He sighs, sitting up. "Fine. But I don't do backstory."

He just had to deal with her for half an hour. And then he could go back to living in his depressed thoughts all alone, just how he was used to it.

Ally shrugs. "That's fine. You can listen to mine."

She continues rambling about her dad's music store and her talking bird and her dreams and passions and Austin decides he kinda likes the over-energetic, color-obsessed girl's company.

Kinda.

Her voice is still giving him a headache.

And as he watched her describe her African adventures, her eyes shining brighter than any star he had ever seen, he swears he saw faintest blur of yellow in his permanent world of black and white and blurry gray.

* * *

Over the next few weeks, Austin found himself getting dangerously close to Ally. He tried to keep his distance, staying away as much as possible, but something about her kept drawing him in.

When Ally learned that Austin was struggling with his classes, she offered to tutor him. He was ready to decline, not caring whatsoever about school, but when he opened his mouth, he found himself accepting the offer instead.

So each day after school, they would go to her house and spend the afternoon studying.

Austin always made sure that he got home before his dad, but today he was late. Very late.

Austin and Ally had gotten wrapped up in a very serious conversation about whether or not zebras were real, that neither of them noticed the sun setting outside. When he finally noticed the sun was no longer in sight, he frantically jumped off of Ally's bed. insisting they had to leave _now_.

A little confused, but not questioning anything, she nodded and grabbed her jacket as he rushed downstairs to her car. She was driving him home today since his car was at home, broken down.

She drove him home, so engrossed in her storytelling about peacocks or bluejays or whatever, she didn't notice Austin's tightly shut eyes and frantic silent praying for his dad to somehow miraculously not be home.

"Oh, hey. Your parents are home," Ally says, turning into his driveway.

He winces, slowly opening his eyes, hoping she's lying, but sure enough, his dad's car is parked right next to his, taunting him.

"Sorry again for getting all carried away and making you late and all," she sheepishly apologizes, blushing a little. "You know how I get, rambling and all."

"Yeah. Um, its fine," he says, fumbling with his seat belt. "Don't worry about it. Bye." He hastily jumps out of her car, not giving her a second glance.

"Um, bye?" She furrows her eyebrows, confused, as she watches Austin rush to his front door. She shakes her head and waves at Austin, smiling, before driving off.

He waits until she's completely out of sight, before he takes a deep breath and opens the door.

It had been a month since he had last gotten 'punished'. He tried his hardest to avoid his dad and stay on his good side, but whenever he did cross paths with him, he was always in a surprisingly okay mood. That's probably why his hands were trembling and his stomach was churning.

He cautiously stepped into the house to find it pitch black. He let out a relieved sigh, taking the darkness as a good sign.

His dad was probably already asleep, knocked out from all the drugs he had undoubtedly consumed that night.

Austin quietly shut the door, careful to not make any loud noise. Just as the door shut with a soft click, the lights turned on, causing him to jump his heart to start pounding again.

"You're late," he hears a voice behind him say in a dangerous, low tone.

He slowly turns around, locking eyes with his father.

"I was at a friend's house and we lost track of time," he explains, his voice shakier than he intends for it to be.

His dad raises an eyebrow. "Lost track of time at a friend's house, huh?"

He quickly shakes his head. "No Dad. Its not what you think. We were just studying."

His dad laughs humorlessly. "Just studying. Right." He stops laughing. "What were you really doing?" He asks sternly.

"I promise we were just studying, Dad!"

His dad's eyes immediately get cold, raging with anger. "Don't lie to me!" He shouts, walking closer to him, pulling a belt out from behind him.

He moves backwards, trying to get away from his head, until he collides with the wall. "I'm not lying."

 _Whip._

He flinches at the contact and shuts his eyes, telling himself not to cry.

"I asked you what you were really doing! Answer me!"

"I swear, Dad, we were just studying."

 _Whip._

He whimpers as silent tears roll down his cheeks.

Since when did he get so pathetic?

"You don't want to tell me the truth? Fine. Guess you want to get punished instead."

 _Whip._

Its more painful than he remembers.

Whip after whip. Beat after beat.

He falls weakly to the floor, shaking in fear. He curls into a ball and shields his face with his arms, trying to protect himself from the monster hovering above him.

He squeezes his eyes tight, trying to go back to his world of black and white, his world of gray. But all he could see was that one color.

The color he hated most.

The color he had tried so hard to cleanse from his life.

The color that haunted him.

 _Purple._

* * *

For the next two weeks, Austin was completely haunted by the horrid purple hue. He lived in constant fear, making sure he did everything perfectly and followed his dad's orders correctly, so his dad wouldn't have a reason to hit him again. This also meant canceling his study sessions with Ally.

But no matter how obedient he was, taking extra time to make sure he made no mistakes, his dad always found a reason to punish him. But he was soon rewarded for his good behavior and suffering when his dad left on a business trip for a week, leaving him to take care of himself in peace.

So when Ally came bouncing up to him after school, asking him if he wanted to come over, he didn't make up a ridiculous lie and walked out of school with the ecstatic brunette.

They were quizzing each other on Shakespeare when Ally's mom knocked gently on the door, causing them to looked up from their textbooks.

"Austin, dear, would you like to stay for dinner?" She asks, looking at him with a warm smile.

Every time he would come over, Ally's mom would always invite him to stay for dinner. But of course, he always declined, not wanting to get in trouble with his father.

He bit his lip. He really didn't want to intrude the family's dinner, but the idea of eating a full, home cooked meal for once was tempting.

"Sure. I'd love to," he says nodding. "If it's not a problem, that is," he adds quickly.

"Oh of course no! We love having you over. Don't we Ally?"

Ally nods. "Mhm."

"Dinner will be ready in about 20 or so minutes," she says, disappearing from the doorway.

"Your mom's really nice," he comments, turning to face Ally.

She beams. "Yeah. She's pretty awesome."

 _Lucky you._

They continue studying until Ally's mom calls them down.

"Wow. This smells amazing," Austin says as they walk into the kitchen.

Penny laughs. "Thank you, sweetheart. Ally, hun, could you set the table?"

Ally nods, walking over to one of the cabinets and pulling out the dishes.

Austin comes up from behind her, taking the plates from her. "Here. I got it."

She grins at him. "Thanks."

He follows her into the dinning table and begins placing the plates where.

"You can sit there," Ally says, motioning to one of the chairs.

He nods and complies and Ally goes back into the kitchen.

Ally's dad comes into the dining room, taking a seat at the table.

"Ah, you must be Austin," he says.

"Yes, sir."

Lester smiles. "Ally never stops talking about you."

Austin blushes a little.

Since when did he _blush_?

"Well, to be fair, Ally never stops talking about _anything_ ," he jokes.

Lester laughs. "You've got a point there," he agrees.

"Ha ha," Ally mutters sarcastically, walking into the dining room, carrying a dish, her mom following behind her with another dish. "Very funny."

"You know it's true," her dad says, giving her a knowing look.

She rolls her eyes smiling, as she sets down the dish on the table and sits next to Austin.

The four start eating, engaging in conversation about school and Austin and Ally's future plans. Luckily, they don't ask about his family or home life.

Penny ends up taking the spotlight, rambling on and on about Africa and gorillas and other things, getting lost in her own world.

Austin figures that's where Ally gets her love for talking.

Penny pauses her storytelling every now and then to make sure he's eating well and if he needs anything. He reassures her that everything's more than fine, and she immediately dives back into her story.

Austin feels a bit of emptiness and longing creep into his stomach as he chews his vegetables, listening to Ally's mom's epic tales.

She reminds him so much of his own mom.

The same warmth in her smile.

The same gentleness in her voice.

The same motherly nature.

He feels tears prickling his eyes and quickly blinks them away, biting his lip to restrain himself from crying.

"Thank you for an amazing dinner. Everything was so good," he says once they're done eating.

"Oh, thank you hun! I'm glad you liked it," Penny says.

He nods. "Well, I should go. It's getting pretty late," he says getting up from his seat.

"Oh of course dear."

Ally gets up as well. "I'll help you with your stuff."

The two head upstairs to Ally's room and gather all his things.

When they come back downstairs, they find Penny standing in the kitchen doorway, holding a plastic bag in her hands.

"Ally told me your parents are out of town this week and you're staying home by yourself, so I packed some food for you," she explains, giving the bag to Austin. "It's not much, but-"

"You didn't have to do this. Seriously. I'll be fine. This isn't the first time I've been left home alone - I can manage," he says, handing the bag back to Ally's mom, but she pushes it back into his hands, shaking her head.

"Nonsense."

He sighs, before giving her a grateful smile. "Well, thank you. I really appreciate it."

"No problem, sweetheart!" Penny's warm smile turns into a frown. "Are you sure you're going to be alright staying by yourself?" she asks, concerned. "You can stay with us if you'd like."

Before he can respond, Ally cuts in, her face flushed with embarrassment.

"Mom! He's 17! He's old enough to take care of himself." She turns to Austin, an awkward, apologetic smile lingering on her face. "Sorry. She gets kinda overprotective sometimes."

 _At least you have parents who actually care about you._

He smiles a little. "Thanks," he says to Ally's mom, "but I wouldn't want to impose."

"Well, it was nice having you, Austin," Lester says, coming up behind them. "You're welcome here anytime. Remember that."

He nods. "I will. Thanks again for dinner," he says, stepping out as Ally holds the door open for him.

"Anytime."

"See you tomorrow, Ally."

"Bright and early," she agrees.

He says goodbye and heads to his car.

"Drive safely!" He hears Penny call out.

"I will!" He calls back, getting into the car.

The Dawsons wave to him and he waves back, a small smile forming on his face, before driving off.

Once he reaches his house, he places the food Ally's mom gave him in the pretty much empty fridge and then goes to his room, instantly collapsing on his bed.

He grabs his tattered old copy of Moby Dick and begins reading it. A couple chapters in, he turns on his side, causing his phone to fall to the floor from where it was previously resting on his stomach.

He groans and rolls out of bed, padding around underneath, trying to find it.

"Ugh, where is it?"

He continues searching for it until he feels a smooth surface.

It's too big to his phone. A book, maybe?

Curious, he pulls it out to discover that it's a photo album.

The Moon family photo album.

He stares at it wide-eyed, before hesitantly opening it.

There on the first page, smack dab in the middle, is a picture of the only few minutes old Austin held by his joyful, teary-eyed parents.

He feels his eyes fill up with tears again as he stares at the beautiful woman who gave birth to him.

The woman who brought him immense joy.

The woman who did anything for him, just to make sure he was happy.

The woman who loved him more than anything.

His mom.

 _Mom._

He quickly turns the page, blinking his tears away. He skims through the pages, tears coming back harder with each flip.

There's pictures from every moment he's ever experienced.

Him crawling around in nothing but a diaper.

Him splashing in the bathtub, covered in soapy suds, playing happily with his rubber ducky.

His dad smiling as he hoisted baby Austin high on his shoulders.

His mom laughing under the thick layer of spaghetti Austin had smothered her with.

His toothy grin with only one grin.

His first birthday party.

His first day of kindergarten.

His first basketball game.

His first time going to camp.

Him grinning proudly as he showed off his first place trophy that he had won at the school talent show.

Vacation photos from the places they had traveled to. Hawaii, New York, Alaska, Japan, along with many others.

There were pictures from every single thing. Up until the day of his 14th birthday.

The day his life came crashing down.

His mom had left midway into the party, leaving to pickup his cake. She had said she'd only be a few minutes, but she never made it back home.

Because of some stupid idiot.

Some stupid drunk idiot who thought it'd be oh-so-fantastic to drive in his drunk condition.

That stupid drunk idiot took his mom's life.

Along with his.

That day his mom was taken from him.

That day his dad started drinking away his pain, blaming Austin for the accident.

That day he received his first of many punishments.

That day his world started losing all color, turning into a void of black and white.

Austin stares at the picture, delicately tracing his mom's angelic features with his fingers.

"Why did you leave me, Mom?" He asks in a soft tone. "Why did you leave me with that - that _monster_? Why didn't you take me with you?"

He feels a few tears stream down his face, but he can't bring himself to care.

"I miss you so much, Mom," he cries. "I miss your smile and your tinkling laugh. I miss how you used to make me pancakes every weekend to lure me out of bed. I miss how you'd cheer the loudest at all my basketball games. I miss the notes you used to put in my lunch, especially the long ones you used to write specially for the days I had tests. I miss how we'd go to the pet store and aww over all the cute animals. I miss your pep talks - how you'd always tell me to never give up on my dreams and always believe in myself. I miss how you'd always have faith in me, even when I didn't have any myself.

"I need you, Mom."

He sighs, leaning against the wall. "I know I've let you down. I know you're disappointed in me. But I just - I just can't do this anymore. I'm trying to hold on as much as I can, but it's so hard. Ever since you left, Dad's gone completely insane and he's getting worse. I don't know how long I'll last before he beats me to death or I end up taking my own life. It's just so hard to live. So hard to just _breathe_. " He pauses, shutting his eyes, as the tears continue to roll down his face.

"I wish you were here. I need you," he chokes out. "I miss you so much, Mom."

He hugs the album to his chest, lightly rocking back and forth, as his tears rapidly flowed, drowning him in a sea of blue.

* * *

"Austin! Austin! Austin!" Ally chants excitedly, sprinting to Austin, her hands full of textbooks.

"What?" He asks, his voice slightly muffled as he rummaged around in his locker, trying to find his calculator.

"You know that movie theater in the mall? Yeah, so I just found out that they're doing this thing where they're playing all the classic Disney movies everyday this month. Guess what movie they're playing today? Guess!"

"What? Lion King?"

Ally frowns a bit. "No, they played that last week. But they're playing Finding Nemo today!" She exclaims, grabbing onto his arm excitedly and turning him around.

"Cool," he replies.

"I wanna go watch it!"

"Then go watch it," he says with a slight shrug, turning back to his locker.

Ally giggles. "I wanna go see it with _you_ , silly."

He freezes, his body going in shock as he registered what she just said. He slowly turned around, looking at her carefully.

"You wanna go to the movies with _me_?" He asks slowly.

She looks at him with an amused expression on her face. "You seem surprised," she notes.

"Um, I am."

"Why? Don't worry, I'm not asking you out on a date or anything. Just going to the movies as friends, because you know, we're friends and such. Think of it like a best friend date, if you want."

"Um, sure. Okay, yeah." He nods slowly,clearing his throat. "Yeah. So after school?"

She nods her head excitedly, her curls bouncing with the just as much enthusiasm. "Mhm. I'll meet you at your locker after last period, okay?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Yay! It's gonna be so much fun!" She squeals, throwing her arms around Austin in a quick, unexpected hug and giving him one last cheery smile, before skipping away to class, her dainty giggles tinkling throughout the hallway.

He looks after her, still in shock from what just happened.

Did she really just ask _him_ to go to the movies with her? Like the two of them _together_? In _public_?

Nobody would ever dare breathe the same air as Austin, let alone go to the movies or hang out with him in public.

Yet Ally Dawson _wanted_ to. On her own free will.

It was nice, refreshing, to finally feel like somebody actually wanted him in their life.

He smiled a bit, his heart filling with hope and long lost joy.

And he didn't find his calculator, but better, he found another twinkle of yellow in his dull, colorless world.

* * *

Gavin Young.

He was some cowboy who moved from some farmland in Oklahoma. He was the definition of perfect. Perfect gentleman, politely interacting with everyone in the student body. Perfect body structure, one he obvious got from the heavy lifting on the farm. Perfect voice, one that charmed everyone. Perfect hair that made all the girls swoon and all the guys jealous.

He was a bundle of perfection and everyone _absolutely_ adored him.

Everyone except Austin.

He saw right through his act - his _fake_ act. _Nobody_ could be _that_ nice and polite and _no one_ could have natural hair _that_ good - it was obvious he used texture cream.

But while he saw Cowboy Boot's fakeness, everyone else was blinded by it, falling in love with every inch of it. Including Ally.

He had tried to convince her that Gavin was total fake, putting on an act to coax everyone into his grasp so he could later on use them for his own entertainment.

She had just giggled, batting a hand at him, saying that Gavin was a 'sweet, darling gentleman' and would never even _think_ to do such a thing. And then she had started ranting on about his perfection and his attractiveness - everything he thought he'd never hear her say. But he had just sighed and rolled at her eyes at how oblivious she was, scoffing every now and then at her descriptions of Cowboy Boots.

And that ended up turning into a normal routine for the next few weeks.

So when he walked up to their lunch table and saw Ally practically dying of excitement, he sighed deeply and sat down.

"Lemme guess - this has something to do with Cowboy Boots?"

Ally rolled her eyes. "Will you stop calling him that? He has a name, y'know - _Gavin_."

"It's probably fake just like everything else about him," he says.

She sighs. "I don't get why you don't like him. I mean, he's so nice and helpful and smart and-"

"A complete and total fake."

"He's not a fake, Austin! Everything about him is real, okay?"

He rolls his eyes. "Whatever. Why were you about to break the bench a few minutes ago?"

Ally's gleeful grin returns. "Gavin asked me out! On a date!" She squeals.

Austin coughs, raising an eyebrow at her. " _He asked you out_? As a _date_? And you said _yes_?!"

"Well, why wouldn't I? Anyone would be stupid to say no."

"Ally, you've only known this guy for like, a week and-"

"Three weeks," she corrects.

"Same difference. The point is you barely _know_ the guy and you're already _going out with him_?!" He looks at her bewildered. She couldn't possibly be doing something this stupid.

"Austin, c'mon. He's a nice guy and he would never hurt me." She argues.

"You don't know that," he mutters.

"What is your problem? It's not like we're getting married or anything. It's just a simple date," she says. "I get you think that he's a fake or whatever, but he's not, and I am going on this date." She glares at him, making sure her points gets through into his system.

He stares at her for a minute and then gets up. "Fine. Whatever. Go on your stupid date with Cowboy Boots. See if I care." He walks away, muttering incoherent words under his breath.

But he did care. More than he wanted to. And he couldn't understand why.

Ally was just his friend. He wasn't attached to her in anyway. The only reason he hung out with her is because she helped him study and would never leave him alone.

He could drop her at anytime, whenever he wanted. He couldn't care less if they weren't in each other's lives anymore.

And he certainly didn't care if she replaced him with Cowboy Boots and his fakeness.

Yeah. He didn't care. Not about her date. Not about how Gavin would tell her some stupid joke and she'd light up the place with her cute giggles. Not about how Gavin would undoubtedly pull off some cliche move to touch her. Not about how Ally might end up kissing his cheek goodnight.

Nope. He didn't care. Not at all.

Then why was he suddenly so green with envy?

* * *

Three weeks in and Cowboy Boots still hadn't exposed his true self to Ally. But Austin was sure it was coming soon enough.

In the meantime, he suffered, listening to Ally describe Gavin and everything he did for her in thorough detail.

Apparently, he had the best corny jokes (Lies. _Nothing_ could top the 'You can tune a piano, but can't tuna fish' joke.), knew almost as much about music as Ally did (There wasn't any competition there - Austin knew more about music than _Ally_ did.), and he knew her coffee order by heart (Austin knew it too. It was a caramel mocha with half skim milk and some other milk, with chocolate drizzle and heavy whip, topped off with...sprinkles? Whatever. It's not like Cowboy Boot's teeny brain was capable of storing such lengthy information. He had obviously noted it down somewhere and carried it around everywhere.)

He didn't understand how someone so real like Ally could be with someone so fake like Gavin. He had to hand it to Cowboy Boots - he _was_ a pretty good actor.

Sighing in relief that school was over, he shrugged on his backpack and slammed his locker shut, heading down the empty hallway towards the school entrance. He was humming to himself, when he saw Ally running up to him like usual. What wasn't usual though, were the tears streaming down her face, instead of her normal gleeful smile.

He looks up, alert. "Ally? Ally, what's wrong?" He asks concerned. She runs into him, clinging onto him and sobbing into his t-shirt. He stumbles back a bit, startled by the contact, but quickly adjusts, awkwardly wrapping his arms around her.

"What happened?" He asks softly.

"You - you were right," she chokes out. "He - he - cheated on me. With some blonde - some blonde _supermodel_." She cries hysterically into his chest. "You were right. He _is_ a fake."

"Shh. He's not worth your tears. He doesn't deserve them. You're amazing, okay? He's a moron," he says, rubbing her back.

"He said that - that the only reason he - he went out with me, was because he - needed better grades and - and -" She starts crying harder than before, clutching onto his shirt.

"He _what_?!" He leans back, looking at her sternly. "He _used_ you? For better _grade_ _s_? That jerk," he mutters under his breath. He steps around Ally, stomping towards the doors of the school.

"Austin?" He hears Ally weakly ask from behind him. "Where are you going?"

"To take care of this."

She realizes what he's about to do and her eyes go wide. "What? Austin, no!" She runs up behind him, but he doesn't turn back.

He shoves the door open and find stupid Cowboy Boots sucking the face of some blonde bimbo he had pinned against the building. He walks over, pulling Gavin away harshly, shoving him into the wall next to the blonde girl, his grip tight on the cowboy's collar.

"You had a lot of nerve cheating on Ally," he states in a low, deep tone.

Gavin smirks. "Aww. You _do_ have a heart. I just thought I'd let her go, so she could go be with her soulmate," he says in an innocent matter, shrugging.

" _You_ broke her heart. Do you see what you did to her? She's _crying_ , because of y _our_ idiocy!" Austin shouts, fuming.

"Well, she still has you, doesn't she? The 'depressed freak' and 'worthless wannabee' - now _that's_ a cute couple," Gavin says smirking. "You guys could make each other feel like you actually have a purpose in life, even though you actually don't."

Austin hears Ally let out a strangled breath behind them and he turns around and see her crying again, her eyes red and swollen, absent of the famous twinkling.

And that did it for Austin. He wasn't going to let some stupid fake idiot take away Ally's happiness.

He lets go of Gavin, then tackles him to the ground. Gavin grunts as his head collides with the sidewalk.

"What the-"

Austin cuts him off with a hard punch.

"Never call Ally worthless again," he grits out, throwing another punch.

Gavin throws a punch at Austin's eyes in an attempt to distract him and push him off, but Austin's stronger and pushes him back harder than before.

He continues punching Cowboy Boots, letting out all the anger he had been hiding away over the last few years, punching him to death. Literally.

"Austin, stop!"

But he can't stop. Not when his subconscious tells him that Gavin's lying unconscious and bloody underneath him and if he continues beating him up, he'll die. Not when he hears Ally's faint, worried voice somewhere in the distant, pleading him to stop. Not when some teachers or staff members or parents or whatever tried to pull him off.

He just couldn't stop.

Because right now, all he could see was red.

* * *

The car ride to Ally's house was tense, neither of them talking, not wanting to acknowledge what had happened in the past hour.

"You have uh, blood and stuff...If you want, I could - uh, help you clean it..." she awkwardly says, turning slightly in her seat to look at Austin, when he stopped in her driveway.

He stared out of his windshield, not looking at her. He wordlessly turns off the engine and takes off his seat belt, getting out of the car, not trusting his words at the moment. He could already she was scared and didn't want to make it worse.

He follows her into her house and Ally turns to him.

"You can sit on the couch. I'll be right back," she says and then rushes upstairs.

He sat down on the couch and stared blankly at the fireplace, forbidding any thoughts to enter his mind.

Ally entered the living room, supplies in hand.

"Here," she says, handing him a bag of frozen broccoli. "For your eye."

He takes it from her and stares at it before looking back up at her, with a disgusted look. "But I don't like broccoli."

She stares at him for a second, then shrugs, "Then suffer with a swollen eye. Your choice."

He pouts at her but holds it against his eye anyway. "It's cold!" He whines.

Ally rolls her eyes, sitting down next to him. "Yeah, it's supposed to be. Now gimme your hand."

She takes his other hand and begins dabbing it with a cotton ball. Unaffected by the stinging of the solution, he begins talking.

"Broccoli is so gross. But I like them, though. They look like tiny trees and-"

"Why did you do that?" Ally asks him in a serious tone.

He turns to her, taking the frozen bag off his eye and raising his eyebrow. "Um, because he cheated on you, took advantage of you, called you worthless, made you feel like you have no purpose in life, made you cry - Shall I go on?"

"I get what he did wasn't right, but what you did wasn't right either. I know you were standing up for me, and I appreciate that, but beating him up wasn't the right way to do so."

He looks at her incredulously. "You're not seriously taking _his_ side, are you? He freaking _used_ you and said you had no point in living, and you're mad at _me_?!"

She sighs, placing a hand on his arm to calm him down. "No, I'm not taking his side. All I'm saying is that what you did wasn't right and you shouldn't have. I could've taken care of it - there wasn't any need for violence."

"I can't believe you."

"No matter what he did, he didn't deserve that."

Austin's eyes blaze with anger. "He didn't deserve it?! Are you kidding me, Ally? He was on the brink of destroying you for life, taking away all your happiness and making you feel worthless, and you're still _defending_ him?!"

Ally mirrors his anger and stands up. "Nobody deserves to be beaten up, Austin! Nobody! And you didn't even just beat him up with a few punches. You nearly almost _killed_ him! He's unconscious! There was a chance he could've died! And no one deserves to die."

Austin sits still, her words sinking into him.

He had beaten him up.

Like his dad.

He was no less than his dad. In fact, he was worse.

His dad never went far enough for him to be on the edge of life, but Austin had almost committed murder.

He was becoming his worst nightmare.

He was a monster.

"I almost killed him," he says quietly.

Ally's anger diminishes and she sits back down next to Austin, taking his hand in hers.

"But you didn't."

"But I almost did. I beat him up, broke his nose, made him loose unhealthy amounts of blood. I'm a monster. I'm a monster, Ally."

"You're not a bad person, Austin. You just-"

"But I am."

She purses her lips. "I'm gonna go to the hospital tomorrow to check on him. You should come."

To apologize, he adds in his head

He nods, still looking at the ground. After a few minutes, he speaks up, in a quiet whisper.

"Is he - is he okay?"

"He has a few broken ribs, I think, along with the broken nose and the doctors don't know exactly how long he'll be unconscious for, but he's fine," she promises him.

He nods.

"Thanks though," Ally says after a moment.

He scoffs and raises his head to look at her. "For beating up your boyfriend and almost killing him? That's not something to be thankful for."

" _Ex-_ boyfriend," she corrects. "And I'm not thanking you for beating him and stuff. I'm thanking you for sticking up for me and saying that I'm not worthless and yeah..." She trails off awkwardly, hiding her face under her hair.

"Well, it's true. You aren't worthless. You're amazing and - and you're just - _perfect_. He didn't deserve you." He pauses. " _I_ don't deserve you," he adds quietly.

She shrugs. "I wouldn't say that."

"Its true," he says. "Anyways, I should probably go home. Kinda have a lot of explaining to do." He stands up and Ally follows, walking him to the door.

"You gonna be okay?" She asks, holding the door open.

Well his dad was probably going to beat him up for getting suspended, being late, and almost killing a guy, but it didn't matter. He deserved it.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. Thanks for helping with the wounds."

She smiles. "No problem."

He gets in his car and sits there for a moment, one thought haunting his mind.

 _I almost killed him._

Brown was an ugly color, just like guilt was an ugly feeling.

* * *

"Heyyyy!" Ally chirped, sitting next to her boyfriend, resting her head on his shoulder, and lacing her arm through his, holding his hand.

Yeah. Sometime between the Cowboy Boots incident and now, Ally had asked Austin out on a date. Now it didn't start out as a date - both of them thought it was just their normal best friend movie dates. But by the end of the night, somehow she became his and he became hers. Neither of them expected it, but they also didn't complain.

"Hi," he mumbles, not looking at her.

Oblivious as she always is, Ally doesn't notice and dives straight into a conversation.

"So you that test in Biology I had last week? The really hard one? I got an A!" She exclaims, but then she frowns. "Except it was my lowest A ever. I got a - a 92! A _92_! Can you believe it? I was three points away from getting a _B_!" She shudders.

When Austin doesn't say anything and just hums in response, she turns her head slightly and looks at him through her eyelashes. She pokes his hoodie covered cheek. "Hey. You okay?"

He nods wordlessly.

Not satisfied, Ally sits up, trying to get a better look at his face. "Hey, look at me. What's wrong?"

He flinches away from her touch, and turns away even more. "Nothing. Everything's fine."

"C'mon Austin. Something's wrong. Tell me."

"Leave it, Ally," he says firmly. "Nothing's wrong."

She stares at him for a second and then jumps onto the lunch table, scooting a bit so she can be eye-to-eye with him.

He turns away, ducking his head further. She lowers her head, cupping his chin in an attempt to get him to raise his head.

"Austin," she pleads.

He sighs and raises his head reluctantly, taking off the hood. "There. Happy?"

She gasps at the sight. His face is covered in bruises and there's a huge cut from the middle of his bottom lip all the way to the middle of his left cheek.

"Oh, Austin." She cups his cheek, gently rubbing over his cut with her finger. He relaxes in her touch, leaning into her palm, closing his eyes.

"You really should tell the police," she says.

"I can't," he replies simply.

"Austin, your dad's hurting you. He's _abusing_ you. You need to get help before it's too late."

"It's only a few more months of suffering, and then I'll be in college, away from home. And if college isn't in my future, well, I'll be legal to move out, so either way I'll be away from him."

"So you're just going to let him beat you up until we graduate? Austin you can't do that!"

He opens, leaning back. "And I also can't call the police on him!"

"Why not?!" She asks frustrated.

"Because he's my dad! He might be a sick human being and a total monster, but he's still my dad. He's the only family I have left and I know somewhere deep inside of him, he still cares about me. I can't lose the only bit of family I have left. I'm not ready to be the only Moon." His voice cracks at the end and he feels tears forming, but he quickly blinks them away.

Ally softens. "Oh, Austin. Everything's going to be okay. _You're_ going to be okay." She presses a soft kiss to his forehead and then pulls him into her, raking her fingers through his hair soothingly.

"You're my everything, y'know," she whispers in his hair.

"You're my everything too," he replies, just as quiet, snuggling his face closer into her shoulder.

He sighs contentedly, breathing in her scent and the warmth and comfort and the little glimmer of yellow.

It's these glimmers of yellow that kept him going.

* * *

To celebrate their two month-aversary, Austin brought Ally to Phill's Fun Town. They had spent practically the whole day there, riding rollercoasters, stuffing themselves with popcorn, and of course, riding the Ferris wheel.

Now, as the sun was setting, they went through the House of Mirrors, laughing at their ridiculous reflections.

"Your face is all squished together!" Ally laughs, pointing to the mirror.

"So is yours," he points out. "Your's is more squished than mine. You can't even see your eyes."

They walk over to the next one and Ally nearly dies of laughter.

"You like like a baby penguin," he says, poking her stomach. "Wobble, wobble."

"You look like the end slice of a load of bread."

"Hmm, well I like bread."

"Nobody like the end slice."

"Oh. So you're saying that nobody likes me? Well."

"I didn't say _that_. I mean, nobody likes it cause it's too fat and small."

"So no you're saying I'm _fat_?"

She shrugs innocently, looking at him through the mirror.

"I am not fat! Do you see these bad boy?" He lifts up his arm, showing off his bicep, but in the mirror it just looks like a small, pudgy blob coming out of a small, pudgy ball, and this causes Ally to laugh even more.

"Oh yeah. These could do so much damage," she teases, turning around, poking his bicep.

He pouts, bringing his hand down. "You're a really big meaning sometimes, y'know."

She smiles innocently. "Nah, I don't think so," she says and walks away.

"Yes you are!"

"You can't catch me!" She yells behind her shoulder, giggling as she runs away from him.

Austin feels something funny in his stomach, some foreign feeling he can't describe, watching her as she giggles, her eyes twinkling. He quickly shakes it off and chases after her.

"I am a strong individual with strong biceps and even stronger legs and I will catch you!"

"That didn't even make sense!"

"Yes it did!"

He finally reaches her when she stops in front of a game booth.

"See? Told you I would catch you," he pants, resting an elbow on her shoulder.

She rolls her eyes. "You only caught up to me, because I stopped, . I wanna play," she says, gesturing to the game booth.

He steps aside. "Go ahead."

She raises an eyebrow at him. "So you're going to make me pay for it myself? Wow. You might have nice biceps but you sure don't have a nice heart."

"Excuse me. You were the one who didn't want us to be that cliché couple, always paying for each other," he reminds her, then smirks. "And hah! You agree! I _do_ have nice biceps!"

"I said _might_."

Austin was going to say something, but the guy behind the counter speaks up before he can.

"Ugh. Couples. Disgusting," the guy mutters. "Are you guys going to play or no? This area is only for players," he tells them, looking at them with a bored face.

"Yeah, we're playing," Ally tells him, pulling out a dollar bill and handing it to him. He gives her three darts in exchange and she begins throwing them at the balloons.

She fails miserably, and turns to Austin with a pout on her face. "Aw man, I was so close."

He gives her a teasing smile. "Really? Two of them landed on the ground."

She glares at him, placing her arms on her hips. "Who's the big meanie now? Hmm?"

"Let me show you how it's really done." He pulls out a bill from his pocket, smacking into the guy's palm. "Hit me up, bro." He licks his lips and rubs his palms together, as the guy rolls his eyes and mutters something about 'gross couples never leaving him alone', before getting him his darts.

Austin effortlessly hits the balloons with all three darts.

"Whoo!" He turns to Ally. "And that my friend, is how you do it. Don't feel bad - you just don't have awesome biceps like mine," he says, flexing his muscles again.

Ally rolls her eyes. "Okay, enough about your biceps. They're really not that interesting."

The game booth guy cuts off their banter. "What prize do you want?" He asks in monotone voice.

Austin's hand immediately shoots up to point at the giant, stuffed panda hanging from the roof of the booth. But just as he's about to ask for it, he sees Ally from the corner of his eye, staring lovingly at one the stuffed dolphins.

He stares at for a moment, captivated by her soft smile and dazed-off face, the weird feeling returning back to his stomach.

"That one," he says, turning back to the guy, pointing at the stuffed dolphin.

The guy gives it to him, the annoyed, bored expression still on his face. "Thanks for playing. Have a wonderful time. Blah blah blah..."

Austin looks at the guy and then turns to Ally thrusting the dolphin in her hands. "Here."

"Aww, Austin. You didn't have to," she says, caressing the dolphin lightly in her hands.

"Well, in that case, I'll just exchange it for ththe panda," he teases.

She looks up at him with wide eyes and clutches the dolphin tightly to her chest. "No! Dougie's mine!"

"Dougie?"

"Yeah. His name is Dougie. Dougie the dolphin," she says, smiling down at the dolphin, holding him in her arms like a baby.

Austin smiles. "It suits him. So I think we should go. It's getting pretty late and all."

"Yeah," Ally yawns. "I'm pretty tired."

"Wait!" He exclaims, spotting the ice cream stand. "We can't leave without having ice cream first! Their ice cream is the best!" He grabs Ally's arm, dragging her excitedly to the ice cream stand.

After getting their ice cream (they broke their rule, since Austin _insisted_ on paying just this once), they sit down on one of the tables and begin eating.

At one point, Ally's eyes completely close and she almost falls into the table, causing her hand to smear the ice cream all over her face. She sits back up with a jolt, opening her eyes.

"Huh? What?"

Austin laughs, "You got a little something..." He says, gesturing to her cheek.

Flushing, she tries to wipe it away.

Austin stares at her. Her hair is a tangled mess, sticking up in crazy directions, her face is red and glistening with sweat and there's ice cream all over her cheek, but to him, she's never looked more beautiful.

And then the weird, foreign feeling decides to intrude once again. And this time he can't ignore it. It's stronger than before, taking over his whole stomach and making his heart swell up and he can't figure out what it is and he just wants to _know_ and he wants Ally to stop being so dang _cute_ and he just wants to stop feeling... _whatever_ this is!

"Uh, are you okay, Austin?" Ally asks slowly, bringing him out of his thoughts. "You're a little red and um..." She nods down to his hands, where he's crushed the poor ice cream cone with his palms and the ice cream is dripping all over them.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine." He gets up and throws the wrecked ice cream cone in the trash can and then walks away to get napkins and clear his thoughts.

When he returns, Ally gets up, finishing the last bit of her cone, and looks up at him. "I have to go use the restroom. We can leave after that."

He nods and they walk to the bathroom.

He waits outside, forcing himself to keep his eyes open and stay awake. He fails, though, because the next thing he knows, his eyes shoot open, as someone jumps onto his back, causing him to slightly stumble. "Oof."

"Hi," Ally giggles into his shoulder, latching her arms around his neck, Dougie resting in between his chin and neck.

"Next time, at least warn me," he tells her, regaining his balance and holding onto her legs.

"Will do. Can you carry me? I'm tired," she says sleepily.

"But Alllyyy," he whines. "I'm tired too. I can't carry you."

"Please? You smell really nice and you'r neck is all soft and cuddly," she mumbles, nuzzling her nose deeper into the crook of his neck.

"Fine. But only cuz you said my neck is soft and cuddly," he says teasingly.

"It is. Very."

"So the new lotion I got is working, huh? It's made with this exotic aloe thingy and some thing called shea butter and some other exoticy things." He starts ranting about his new lotion, not noticing that Ally's fast asleep, drooling into his shirt, until he hears her not-so-quiet snorts, causing him to laugh.

When they finally reach the car, Austin carefully lets go of one of her legs and pulls out his keys, opening the car. This turns about to be a very hard task while having another body on you.

He finally manages to open the passenger door and seat her in the seat, all while not waking her. He's putting on her seat belt, when Ally snuggles into a ball and sighs.

"I love you, Austin," she murmurs.

He freezes, his body going rigid.

Did she just say she _loves_ him?

She didn't just say that. She couldn't have said it. It's impossible. She _can't_ love him.

But she did. She did say. And as much as he wants to say it's not true, he _knows_ she loves him.

And that's when he realizes it.

"I love you too," he whispers, leaning down to kiss her forehead.

And he does. He does love her. That weird feeling that had taken over his stomach for the whole day, making his heart swell up and his thoughts all scattered, it had been _love_.

He _loves_ her.

He actually, really loves her.

Once upon a time, he viewed pink as the grossest, most girliest color in all of existence. But now, he understand why so many girls were obsessed with it.

Pink was a beautiful color.

* * *

 _"You're worthless"_

 _"You can't do anything"_

 _"You're a failure"_

 _"You have no point in living"_

The voices swirl around in his head, suffocating him. He grits his teeth and drags the blade harder against his skin, creating a deeper gash than the ones before it. Not satisfying him with the relief it usually does, he chucks the blade to the ground and decides he's had enough.

He gets up, the sleeves of his hoodie slipping down, getting soaked with the gushing blood. He walks into the bathroom and thrusts open a cabinet, rummaging through it furiously.

"Where is it?!"

He hazardously searches the cabinets for his bottle of pills, knocking down everything. His phone vibrates in his pocket and he pulls it out, about to chuck it onto the floor, but he sees the screen light up with Ally's face and instead picks it up.

"Austin! Guess what? I-"

"I can't find them!" He cuts her off, growling into the phone.

On the other side of the phone, Ally sits up straight, alert and worried, her cheeriness fading. "What?"

"The stupid pills!" He shouts, digging through the cabinet like an animal. "I can't find the stupid pills!"

"Austin, what's going on? What's wrong? Austin?"

"I need those stupid pills!"

"Austin, no! Don't do anything! Austin!"

He rummages further into the cabinet, ignoring Ally, and finally finds the bottle.

"Austin! Listen to me! You-"

"Bye Ally," he says softly and then hangs up, cutting off her frightened pleas. He places the phone on the sink and tries to open the bottle, but the cap won't budge.

"What won't you open?!" He yells frustrates, as tries to pull off the cap.

He continues wrestling with the bottle, crying and screaming in frustration because the cap won't come off.

Ally gets to his house and record time and rushes to his room.

"Austin, no!"

She runs over to him, jumping on him, tackling him to the ground.

"Get off of me!" He yells trying to push her off.

"Give me the bottle," she says calmly, trying to take it out of his hands.

"No! I need it! Let it go, Ally!"

"Austin, give it to me!"

"No! They're mine!"

"I'm not letting you do this, Austin! I'm not letting you take your life!"

He squirms underneath her, trying to get her off, but she musters all her energy and remains firm on top of him, caging him against the ground.

"Nobody needs me! Nobody cares about me! I don't have a reason to live! I don't to _want_ live!" He screams.

She manages to finally pry the bottle out of his fingers and throws it to the corner of the room, far from where they were.

"You keep saying that nobody needs you, that nobody cares about you. But what about me? _I_ care about you, Austin. _I_ need you. You can't leave me, Austin," she says, her voice cracking. " _I need you_."

She leans her forehead against his, both of them closing their eyes, trying to even out their breathing.

After a moment, he breaks the silence.

"Do you really care about me?" He asks quietly. "Or are you just using me for your own entertainment?"

She opens her eyes, staring in shock at him; him looking at her with broken, hopeless eyes. She crawls off of him and pulls him up, so their sitting knee to knee.

"Austin. Of course I care about you. I promise I'm not using you for my own entertainment or anything."

"Then why won't you let me die? If you really cared about me, then you'd let me escape all this burden."

She places a hand on his cheek, her heart breaking. "It's going to get better, I promise. I really do genuinely care about you. I care about your health and happiness and safety and everything. I know you have so much more to live for. You're going to accomplish great things and go so far in life, you can't even imagine. And I know it seems impossible right now, but things will get better, Austin. And you're not going to go through this alone. I'm here for you; whenever you need me, I'll be here for you, okay? I promise I'm not going to leave you and I promise things will get better," she says to him with serious eyes.

"What if they don't get better?"

"You have to believe that they will."

He stares at her, not believing her fully.

"It's just that everyone thinks I won't get into college or - or that I'll graduate or - or - or -" His breaths start getting heavy and his eyes get blurry.

She pulls him into her and starts rubbing his back. "Austin, you're _going_ to get into MUNY - you're too talented not to. And you've improved so much over the year with school. You _will_ graduate."

He pulls back and rubs his eyes. "Thanks."

"Let's get those cleaned up," she says, looking down at his blood-covered sleeves. "I'll be right back."

She gets up and walks into the bathroom and returns back with a damp washcloth, cotton balls, and antiseptic. She sits back down and he takes off his hoodie, throwing it to the side, and she rolls up his sleeves.

"There's blood on it," he says in a small voice, looking at his favorite hoodie sprawled beside him.

"It's okay. We'll wash it."

He watches her as she bites her lip, gently cleaning his cuts, not wanting to hurt him.

"Thanks," he says quietly.

"It's nothing."

It's _everything_.

He doesn't know what would've happened to him if Ally hadn't come into his life.

He hasn't really understood what it really means to be grateful, but now he does.

He's grateful that she asked him about his favorite color that day.

He's grateful that she stayed with him and didn't give up on him.

He's grateful for her.

He hasn't seen orange in a really long time, and he's glad he can see it now, because orange is an amazing color.

* * *

They leaned against the railing of the boardwalk, staring out into the ocean. The salty sea air blew against their faces, as seagulls squawked above them.

To celebrate their last day of summer, they had come to Coney Island, immersed into all things summery.

Turned out, Ally was right. Things did get better.

Austin graduated with high grades, got accepted into MUNY, along with Ally, with a full scholarship, and was now living in a different state, far, far away from his dad.

Austin gazed out into the horizon, his world gleaming with yellow. This time it wasn't just a blur, or a tiny glimmer - everything had a yellowish tint, making his world glow with brightness. He hadn't seen anything more wonderful.

"My favorite color's yellow," he says abruptly, breaking their calm silence.

Ally turns to him, eyebrows knitted in confusion. "What?"

"That day we met, the first thing you asked me was what my favorite color was. And I told you I didn't have one. But I do now. Yellow," he replies, still staring forward, his arms resting on the ledge.

She smiles. "I'm glad you finally found a favorite color. Yellow is a really pretty color," she agrees. "Color of happiness and all."

"Yeah," he says softly. "I know." He turns to her. "Thank you for not giving up on me and helping me find my colors."

"Thank you for letting me," she replies with a smile.

She snuggles into his side as he drapes an arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer.

For once in his life, there wasn't a single speck of black or white, or even gray. Instead, there were a million different hues, all bright and intense, creating a magnificent sight.

His world was finally colorful.

* * *

 **don't know what this is...**

 **actually I know exactly what this is - a mess of 10,000 something words...holy shoes.**

 **((and I know Austin's favorite color is orange, but for this story I had to make it yellow, so yeah...))**

 **well, I hope you guys liked it!**

 **I LOVE YOU! =)**


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